Let your 'yes' be 'yes'....

Matthew 5:37 states, "Just say 'yes' and 'no.' When you manipulate your words to get your own way, you go wrong." - The Message

I've often prided myself on my vocabulary and control of the English language, and have often been guilty of manipulating words to present information in a manner that would evoke whatever result I wanted. I would like to think I have only 'used my powers' for positive results; however, this verse pretty much states that the intent doesn't matter. This 'rant' of mine is directed toward Christians; however, there is a lesson in here for everyone that desires to be a man/woman of integrity. Let your yes be yes, and your no be no...

I have come across people in my life that seemed to have gotten the art of word manipulation down to a science, many of them Christians. They don't want to come right out and state the truth about a matter due to whatever reason, so they work around it, weaving words to present a 'non-answer' without really saying anything at all. Is this right in God's eyes? Let your yes be yes and your no be no....

I once had a friend who, when asked about a specific situation, responded with such vague answers, it led the other person to draw their own conclusions about their answer. This, then led to outrage from the person that answered so vaguely! Maybe you don't care to reveal the whole truth about something, or you aren't free to reveal the truth, then say that...don't leave other's to speculate on what you feel  you so artfully avoided...and you really have no right then to get angry about it. Being transparent can also include you saying, "I really don't want to answer that right now," etc. rather than leaving things so open to interpretation. When people interpret it the wrong way, you have no one to blame but yourself. Let your yes be yes and your no be no.

Let me give another example...A Christian will tell you that gossip is wrong; however, they will couch information behind creative wording so they can relay information that really doesn't come across as straightforward gossip. "I think we need to pray for Sister so-and-so, I heard some things I am not able to discuss, but she is really having a hard time." This type of talk leads to nothing but leaving the door open for the listener to speculate on what is causing Sister so-and-so's hard time. The phrase "I am not able to discuss" implies that the person was privy to "confidential" information that they can't disclose. Do people do that to make themselves look important? It seems as if the result does nothing of the sort, it causes others to speculate, often in the wrong direction. Who is wrong in this situation? The one that caused others to speculate or the ones doing the speculating? The Bible says BOTH are in the wrong. To cause someone to think the wrong things based on the way you present information is wrong...Let your yes be yes and your no be no...

How about the Christian that doesn't agree with actions taken by someone else? How quickly they are to say, "I find it hard to believe they prayed about that," or "I prayed about it, and God's not confirming their actions with me." Who are we to say what God has said to someone else? Can we really know what direction God is leading another person? Will God always confirm with a third party what He has designed for one person? Or is it more a matter of that person thinking that they are so important that how could God NOT confirm something with them? Behavior like this has been so damaging to relationships within the body of Christ. Why can't people just say, "I can't say I agree with what you are doing, but I trust that if God is leading you, that you will be blessed?" By hiding behind "spiritual wording," you lead others to believe that the person has made a decision that is not initiated by God; therefore putting yourself in the position of judging another's actions based on your "feelings," and unfortunately, causing others around you to do the same based on your words. Better yet to just say, "I can't say I agree with what you are doing, but I will pray for you." Again, your words need to be clear, don't use words to create ambiguity and/or confusion about something so straightforward. Let your yes be yes, and your no be no..

Finally, the 'white lies' that fly around so freely. I mean, how harmless can they be, it's not an outright lie. The only difference between a 'white lie' and an outright lie is how they are worded. When those lies are created about other people, we need to go back to Genesis 20 to determine if they are wrong..."Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor..." Don't lie about someone...white lie or otherwise! Don't hide your own actions behind creative wording, it is still a lie...Let your yes be yes and your no be no....

I am not saying any of this to imply that I have mastered any of this myself, on the contrary, as a writer, I have often used words to get a desired result. All I am saying is, that according to Jesus' words in Matthew, this is wrong. I have had people that were true wordsmith artists in my life, and in hindsight, I can't say I ever really trusted the things they said. They were always ambiguous and vague, never committing to anything completely. That does not lead to any kind of real relationship. Even if I wouldn't have agreed with everything they said, it would have been a better relationship to be able to trust what they said was from the heart and honest rather than something they created to hide the real truth. Let your yes be yes and your no be no...

Finally, to anyone that is reading this, I implore you to hold me accountable for my own words and actions. If you feel as if I am avoiding, skirting issues, wordsmithing answers, call me on it...throw these words back at me and hold me accountable. I want to be a woman of integrity of whom it can be said, "her yes's were yes and her no's were no."